


if youll let me

by meruemsthighs



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Pining Victor Nikiforov, Post-Banquet Emotions, Rimming, Slow Burn, one (1) handjob, trying out a different style of writing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-19 02:25:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9413750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meruemsthighs/pseuds/meruemsthighs
Summary: "Yuuri licks his lips and Victor accepts the strange and unusual punishment he’s placed on himself. He created the program for sexual love in a fit of despair at Yuuri ignoring him like the banquet was nothing, and now he sits, watching Yuuri like this daily, unable to do anything. "





	

**Author's Note:**

> i'm trying out a different style of writing here, hope you enjoy!!

Victor swings back onto his feet, clutching the hand of the man who’s been dancing with him for the past hour or so. He grabs a flute of champagne from a passing waiter and downs it like he’s been thirsting for forever. Katsuki Yuuri, he said, and then proceeded to whisk him out of boring conversations and into a wild bacchanalian mess with the other top skaters.

 

It’s the most fun Victor’s had in a long time. He saves his surprising and scandelous behavior for the rink, keeping within lines for everything else, but Yuuri’s here unbottoning his shirt and ripping his pants off in front of everyone important in the skating world. He takes his phone out to snap a few pictures, and Yuuri catches his eye. He can only get a few in before Yuuri takes his hand, grips his waist, and trots his way to Chris’ pole.

 

He’s singing something mostly in Japanese, and Victor can’t understand a word he’s saying. He just knows there’s someone with the radiance of a moon at midnight all over him, trying to dance at a formal event. He’s turned it into _his_ night and Victor just feels #blessed to be there. Yuuri dips him, and follows in with Victor, his arm solid on Victor’s lower back. Yuuri pulls him out and then tips him down again, laughing at Victor’s face.

 

Victor throws caution and constant awareness of cameras to the wind, and pulls Yuuri close to him. Yuuri honestly giggles, and leads Victor past a few steps, into a spin. His hand lets go and Victor just watches Yuuri take his shirt off to someone whistling in the crowd. He jumps into the pole to the sound of people clapping. He whoops and spins his shirt around, then tosses it into the crowd. Victor quickly takes another picture.

 

His heart’s hammering in his chest while Yuuri dumps an entire bottle of champagne all over his body. He glistens in the light as he twirls around the pole, and Victor’s mouth dries at the sudden display of this dancer’s body. It’s strange he’s never heard of Katsuki Yuuri before now, but he intends to spend the rest of the night correcting that mistake.

  


~~~

  


Victor watches at the barrier as Yuuri spins out of his warm up and into his short program sequence. He sees him wince over a stumble with a frown, but Yuuri corrects it and moves on with the routine. It hasn’t been long since he’s come to Japan chasing a golden memory off the tail of a viral video, but Yuuri’s improved by leagues.

 

He’s enthusiastic about getting back on the ice. Watching him perform like this, no one would be able to tell he hasn’t skated in months. But at the same time, no one would be able to tell he’d one day win gold at the World’s.

 

He skates across the ice with apprehension that Victor can almost taste. Technically, there isn’t much wrong with the way Yuuri does Eros. It’s even beautiful. Yuuri opens his arms wide and spins, kicking his leg, and Victor’s hands tingle with the urge to get his skates and join him. It’s amazing no doubt, but Victor doesn’t feel the main emotion Yuuri’s supposed to perform.

 

There’s just no Eros in it. No spark to it, no burn, just a quiet appreciation for the show Yuuri’s putting on. Victor searches Yuuri’s face, Yuuri’s body for a hint of what he saw in last year’s banquet while Yuuri flies from one movement to the next on the ice, but there’s just sleek lines and talent. If Victor hadn’t seen it for himself, felt it for himself, he wouldn’t have believed Yuuri was capable of it.

 

It’s art but it’s not the kind that leaves his throat parched. It’s not the kind where his heart bounces with Yuuri’s movements. It’s art, but it’s not what he expected.

 

Yuuri ends the routine gasping and waits expectantly for criticism. Victor claps his hands and asks him to run it through again, hoping exhausting him would reveal something.

  


~~~

  


Time goes by like this, constantly training and working out the finer points of the program together. Yuuri warms up to him, letting him past the arms length he’s been held at for so long. He’s softer than Victor would have expected, and it thrills him.

 

They do everything together and Victor hoards these moments closely. He’s getting to know the man that seduced him thoroughly in a couple hours and then vanished without a trace, and its much better than he expected. Yuuri takes him out for dinner to show him his favorite places, pulls him down next to him to watch a movie casually, listens to him talk and talk about anything and everything.

 

The image Victor holds of him, grinding down his front at the banquet, evolves into knowing him. There’s more to Yuuri and he’s craving it all. He wants to see everything with him, know everything with him, feel everything with him.

 

Yuuri sloughs off bits and pieces of the distance he’d built between them with caution and care. The more he shows of himself, the more it awes Victor to know that he has the privilege to know him. It’s so sweet and soft that Victor loses his mind over the smallest of things.

 

Yuuri drops a bag in front of him when he comes back from a walk with Makkachin, and sits on the ground in front of him. “I saw something outside and thought about you, haha.” He rubs the back of his head while Victor opens the bag. It’s a dark blue scarf, rayed with thin white lines. It’s cold from the trip outside, smooth as water under his hand. He slips it around his neck and yuuri turns a splendid shade of pink.

 

“I love it!!” Victor says, throwing his arms around Yuuri. “Thank you.” He whispers, and lets go at Yuuri’s nervous laughter.

  


~~~

  


Victor pesters Yuuri to an amusement park, and then Yuuri pesters Victor into riding all the rides. All of them. He tries to complain his way out, but Yuuri folds his hand into Victors, smiles, and then Victor’s turning into the seat and bracing himself for drops and twists. He’s not a fan of roller coasters most of the time. His height never matches with the headrests and it always makes him feel like he’s going to be flung out into space at every motion. Yuuri’s gripping his hand tight, laughing at the swoops and spins, and Victor’s falling.

  


~~~

  


Surprisingly, he’s better when facing more people than just Victor. If it’s his childhood friends or family there to watch too, he’s gorgeous. There’s still not much of Eros, but he’s still better. Smoother. More relaxed when there are people other than himself at the rink. Minako claps vigorously when Yuuri swirls at the end and grips his shoulder, and Victor joins in.

 

Minako offers him a bottle of water when he skates to the edge of the rink, and Victor fills him in on all the moments he’d hesitated and gone rigid. Yuuri listens intently, gulping down the water. Victor tracks the motion of his adam’s apple bobbing up and down his throat, and snaps his eyes back to Yuuri’s when he finishes drinking his water. Yuuri’s lips shine and he licks them dry. He nods and then does a lap around the ice to cool down a bit.

 

Victor feels a pair of eyes on him and turns to see Minako looking at him strangely. There’s a knowing smile on her face, but he’s not surprised to see she knows. “What is it?”

 

“Nothing.” She says, and then, “You should eat lunch.” She nods, and Victor nods with her.

 

“I’ll eat with Yuuri after this practice. Don’t worry!” He nods again, knowing what she means and completely bypassing it. She nods too and calls out to Yuuri. They exchange hugs and goodbyes privately, just out of earshot of Victor. She says something to Yuuri that has him flushing and shaking his head, then turns to Victor and winks. She slips out a moment later, but Victor’s eyes are on Yuuri.

 

“What is it?” He asks again, to which Yuuri shakes his head. Victor shrugs and doesn’t press, passing it off as a jab at Yuuri’s theme. He blushes and turns shy at the mention of Eros by anyone close to him, so Victor drops it where it is.

 

Yuuri hurries into position and starts. His eyes stare at Victor like a reel, pulling him closer to the edge of his seat. He throws his head back with a reckless toss, and shimmys his way into the sequence. Victor can’t take his eyes off for even a second, if not because he’s amazed at how the flick of his wrist sends Victor’s heart pounding, then because Yuuri’s performance now is just so different from what he did when it wasn’t just him at the rink.

 

He’s more nervous, but there’s a stroke of heat this time. He looks at Victor, still pink from what Minako told him, and runs his hands down his body before turning as if he’s dancing with someone. His legs part into a spread, opens his arms like he’s calling Victor to the stage with him. He closes into a jump and clears it perfectly. Victor sees him skate like a different person and he’s torn between wanting to run out there with him, or watch and fan himself from afar.

 

It’s a sentiment he catches himself feeling more and more often. Yuuri licks his lips and Victor accepts the strange and unusual punishment he’s placed on himself. He created the program for sexual love in a fit of despair at Yuuri ignoring him like the banquet was nothing, and now he sits, watching Yuuri like this daily, unable to do anything.

  


 

~~~

 

 

“Yuuri! Makkachin wants to go for a walk!” He calls at Yuuri’s door. He knocks a few times till the door opens, revealing Yuuri in a blue sweater and pajama bottoms. “Yuuuri, were you going to sleep?” He asks, taking in the annoyed look on his face.

 

“Yes. Take him out yourself, I’m tired.” Yuuri puts a hand on the door but Victor sticks his foot in.

 

“Please?” He asks again. He picks Makkachin up and pouts, then looks at Yuuri with his hair falling over his face. Yuuri takes a deep breath, closes his eyes, and nods. Victor whoops and lifts Makkachin into the air. “Ok! I’ll meet you at the front door in 10 minutes.” He winks to seal it, grinning when Yuuri blushes and ducks his head.

 

Yuuri’s at the door in a few minutes, bundled up like a snowball. Brown eyes peek out above a blue scarf, and he looks nothing like someone who spends most of his time on ice. He ruffles Makkachins fur and stands back, nodding his readiness.

 

They stroll down the path from the onsen to a nearby park, leaves crunchy under their feet and air hanging in front of them. It’s pleasant, but Yuuri shivers next to him. “You’re cold?” Yuuri slows down a little and Victor follows.

 

“Not really.” He says, and Victor waits. “Ok, a little.” He pulls a pair of gloves on and stuffs his hands in his pockets. His arm sticks out like a teapot and Victor loops his own arm through, linking them together. Makkachin takes the other side of Yuuri and Victor can hear a small huff of laughter through Yuuri’s scarf.

 

“Are you warmer?” He leans in to whisper against the wind.

 

“Still cold.” Yuuri shrugs and shifts Victor over to block the wind coming his way. It’s the best use of his height, ever.

 

“Hmm. Let’s get out of the cold, and get something hot.” Victor says, two fingers on his lips. Makkachin bounces around the both of them, trying to choose who to stand next to more. He ends up between the two of them and sits, watching them make a decision.

  


Yuuri leads them to a place that’s open late, a homey little shop Victor would’ve missed entirely alone. The workers behind the counter wave and smile at Yuuri, and Victor by extension. He launches into a conversation in Japanese and Victor takes Makkachin to a booth. It’s at the bend away from the other people in the shop, just so Makkachin feels calmer instead of awake and active by the time they get back home.

 

Victor flips through the menu with Makkachin for a bit and texts Yuuri his order. He’s still at the counter talking, so it saves him the effort of walking over there. He watches Yuuri talk with the two workers behind the counter comfortably, perfectly at ease. He can’t make out what’s being said, but it’s something to do with skating with the gestures Yuuri’s making.

 

He sits back in his seat with one hand in Makkachins fur. Yuuri stands with one leg resting against the other, and smiles softly when he looks down at his phone. He glances at Victor quickly and brings the drinks back with him.

 

“What’d you get?” Victor asks immediately.

 

“Just some jasmine tea.” Yuuri starts taking his jacket off, and then his gloves. He blows air on the cup in front of him with pink pursed lips, and takes a sip, closing his eyes. Victor has the urge to pull his phone out and take a picture of him.

 

“It looks good.” Victor takes a sip of his own coffee while Yuuri nods. He loosens the scarf around his neck and wraps his hands around his mug.

 

“Do you want to try it?” He asks and pushes his mug over. Victor takes it and drinks a little, coughing at the lack of sugar. It’s more fragrant than it is tasty, and he feels like he just ate a flower. Yuuri’s laughing at him and he gives the tea back.

 

“I can see why you like it, it’s not bad.” Victor takes a sip of his coffee to get rid of the aftertaste and Yuuri nods, still laughing. “I didn’t expect it to be that bitter. You didn’t add any sugar.” He explains.

 

Yuuri shrugs and runs his index finger over the edge of the mug. “Sometimes bitter things are nice, though.” He peeks up at Victor through his eyelashes and his mind veers off into inappropriateness like a magnet. Possible meanings of what Yuuri meant bounce around his head through the entire time at the tea shop, the walk back, up until he’s laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling.

 

Was he just stating what he was feeling at the time? Saying something about Victor’s sweet tooth? Subtly testing the water for other things, or is that just himself hoping and putting meaning to something offhand? He turns over and looks at the door. He could just get up and ask, but it’d be breaking the unspoken agreement not to talk about the banquet and everything related.

 

He already toes the line enough with giving him Eros as his short program theme.

  
  


~~~

  


After the Tea Incident, Yuuri tests the line more and more. It’s the only way to describe the sudden way Yuuri’s breaking whatever unspoken rules they’ve made for themselves.

 

When they watch tv together in the main room, Yuuri lays his head down on the arm rest, and dumps his legs in Victor’s lap. He watches Victor from the corner of his eye, and turns his legs this way and that, occasionally brushing his calf against Victor’s jeans zipper, until he finds a comfortable angle. Victor keeps his hands off for a hot second, then yields. They’re smooth and hard from the working out he’s been doing while training. He slowly traces his index finger over Yuuri’s shin. Goosebumps crop up over his legs, and he smooths it down with his palm.

 

When Yuuri does laundry one day, he borrows one of Victor’s shirts, oversized and slipping off Yuuri’s shoulder. He’s combing Makkachin in Victor’s room, and shows more and more every time he moves his arm. There’s a spot at the base of Yuuri’s neck that he’s dying to lick into, but he holds himself down with a book and his own imagination.

 

Hot days bring him and Yuuri to an ice cream parlor where he’s sure Yuuri know’s exactly what he’s doing with that ice pop.

 

Victor spends his time at the beach taking pictures of Yuuri swimming, the ocean, Yuuri drying himself out next to him, himself, the stones, and Yuuri with water droplets sparkling in the sun. His breath catches in his throat when Yuuri sweeps his hair back with a wet hand and catches his eye and he _tries_.

 

He tries.

  


Victor tries his best everywhere but it breaks at the onsen, where Yuuri lets him stretch his legs and mold the muscles back into comfort. It’s easy to drift next to him and press his fingertips into Yuuri’s shoulder. Yuuri opens his eyes and looks dead into Victor’s, holding him still where he is.

 

“Can I?” He coughs and asks, breaking the tension. Yuuri nods and smiles softly, and Victor’s thoroughly seduced again. He laughs at how easy it was for Yuuri to just tilt his head and own him completely and turns Yuuri over to get to his back. He starts at the shoulders and kneads his palm down, working his fingers into the muscle and loosening them. Yuuri hums and rests his head down at the edge of the pool and closes his eyes.

 

“Yuuri, you need to pay more attention to your muscles! They’re your main tool in this.” He says, and continues as Yuuri nods his acknowledgement. Victor works his hands down to the curve of his spine, where the water laps up and down his skin. There’s more muscle here, tougher, and all the more reason to pay attention to it. He presses his thumb in and moves in circles, digging in rougher when Yuuri sighs in content.

 

He makes his way down to the flare of Yuuri’s hips and slows down, then decides to skip it all together and move on to his thighs. Victor doesn’t know what he looks like, but he’s sure he doesn’t want Yuuri to turn around and see exactly how much he’s enjoying this.

 

He puts his hand just below the curve of his ass and takes a moment to take a deep breath. Yuuri’s thigh’s warm under his hand, and he can clearly see the affects of the past few month’s training on him. Yuuri makes a weird noise and almost shakes his butt, unspokenly asking him to get on with it.

 

Victor doesn’t hesitate and starts pulling at the muscle. He works on one thigh at a time, and takes his time with it, using both his palms and his knuckles. He presses the heel of his palm into his femoris, jumping when Yuuri gasps and pushes back into the touch. Victor stills his hand and laughs nervously, waiting for Yuuri to do something. He turns his head and looks back at Victor, redder than autumn apples, just as sweet. His lips parted, eyes wide and looking at him with such heat, the water and air feel crisp against his skin. “What was that, Yuuri?” he asks, voice low and soft. Yuuri flushes even harder but his eyes stare Victor down, melting his gut into a pool of want.

 

“Are you sure about this?” Yuuri says after a moment. Victor takes his hand off and smothers his giggles down. Victor nods and smiles.

 

“I should be asking you that. Are you sure?” He asks, dipping his fingers below the water to run them down Yuuri’s calves. Yuuri takes his time with his answer, searching for it in Victor’s face, down his body. Then, finally, he nods. Victor tilts his head, waiting for a verbal answer.

 

“Yes. Ok.” Yuuri says, nodding, holding Victor’s arm and pulling him down. Victor follows, runs his fingers up the side of Yuuri’s hips to his waist. He tucks into the crook of Yuuri’s neck and blows air on the warm skin, presses his lips down when Yuuri shivers. He peppers feather light kisses from his jaw to his collarbone. He leans back to look at Yuuri for a quick moment, taking in his expectant look and turns him back around.

 

Yuuri pushes up, forearms on the grounds outside the pool. Victor smoothes his hand down the expanse in front of him, all the way to the pert ass in front of him. His heads buzzing with the audacity of himself, the disbelief that he’s really here, kissing his way down Katsuki Yuuri’s back with a purpose. Yuuri sighs when he reaches in fully and massages him, thumb drifting over the middle, not pressing in.

 

He drops firmer kisses around the cheeks, folding them in his hands, and playfully bites. Yuuri’s yelp turns into a long groan when Victor’s hand reaches forward to lightly touch his cock. It’s silky and hard in his hand and he strokes it lightly, pulling on the skin. The water slides his hand smoothly. He grips him firmly and gives a hard stroke up, all the way to the edge of the head, running his thumb over the tip. Yuuri’s breathless and Victor parts his cheeks to kiss his rim.

 

“Oh my god, Victor.” Yuuri moans, and Victor dives right into it, licking and rubbing him off together. Yuuri rocks in his arms forward to chase his fist, back to press his ass into Victor’s face. A stream of praise and curses flows ready out of Yuuri, all straight down to Victor’s cock. The hot water teases more out of him and he lets go of Yuuri’s ass to palm himself.

 

Victor slows down till he’s just holding Yuuri. He turns Yuuri around and almost comes himself at the look Yuuri gives him. Yuuri’s lips bitten red and his hair pushed back. He sucks on his finger briefly, then rubs Yuuri’s rim slowly. Just a little. Yuuri bites his lip and closes his eyes, moving with the finger slipping inside. He shifts along with Victor’s hand and it’s the most beautiful thing Victor’s ever seen.

 

He looks down at his hand loosely held around Yuuri, bright contrast between the two, and starts up again on his cock. The water doesn’t give much smoothness to it, making each drag slower and rougher. Yuuri’s head tips back, baring his neck and Victor doesn’t have it in him to hold back on that.

 

His fist speeds up, palm dragging over the head to collect the dew and push back on the rest of him, as Victor sucks on Yuuri’s neck. “ _Victor_ ”, Yuuri moans, and he shudders at the sound bouncing around the onsen, thrusting in the water, desperate for any friction at all. He doesn’t dare touch himself now, though, because he’d be done within seconds. He keeps his focus on Yuuri, though that doesn’t help much either.

 

Victor can feel Yuuri building under his mouth, his breath hitches when his finger hits a spot and he keeps hitting that spot until Yuuri unfurls in his arms, coming in thick spurts on Victor. He follows soon after, taking the hand out of Yuuri and finishing both him and himself off.

 

Yuuri rests his head on Victor’s shoulders for a few moments. He tilts Victor’s head towards him, and catches his eye. Dark and brown, fond and gazing at Victor like he’s best thing he’s ever seen. Thoroughly blissed out and laughing, he cups Victor’s jaw and kisses him softly. It steals the remaining breath out of him.

**Author's Note:**

> all feedback is appreciated!!


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